Home / Advice / how you talk and think about others says more about you than it does about them.

What do you think to yourself, or say to others when you see a fit, healthy woman, whether she be exercising in booty shorts, hanging at the beach in an itty bitty bikini, or just hanging with friends. Do you think about what sort of person she must be to be wearing something like THAT? Do you think, “whatta bitch”? Do you gossip to your friends about what the fuck is she doing? “Hahah wait ’til she has kids, she won’t look like that anymore!” Maybe?
  • What about that lady over there in Kmart, “Why the hell did she go out in that ugly outfit?”
  • That overweight person giving running a try. “Who’s she/he kidding trying to run, it’s not going to help?!”
  • That frazzled mum in Pak n Save, “Why doesn’t she shut those horrible kids the hell up?”

You get my drift.

If you stopped for just a minute and thought about it, what you are saying about that man/woman, whoever he/she is, does it maybe say more about you and your own self worth and self confidence than it does about that actual person? Maybe a little bit? Is that something you can work on?
  • Maybe that fit chick in the booty shorts or the one in the itty bitty bikini has worked her ass off to look the way she does, and to be as fit as she is (I suspect this is the case for most fit women, it aint easy!!)
  • Maybe the lady wearing “those horrible clothes” can’t afford to buy new ones and that is the best she has, or maybe she thought she looked lovely when she left home?
  • That larger man/woman running? They’re doing more than anyone sitting on their ass doing nothing, and anything is going to help!! In fact, he or she is going to achieve more doing that “sad” attempt than you are sitting there laughing at them. Maybe she’s already lost a shit-tonne of weight doing what she’s doing? 
  • The mum with the horrendous kids in the supermarket? Have you honestly never been that mum? Seriously? Then you have no freakin idea, so shut up, cos it’s not fun!!!
But back to you. And me. I always thought like this, I couldn’t help myself! Both sides of the coin, people fitter than me and people larger than me. One day after a long while of soul searching, I took a good look at myself. Not at those other people, for a change. It was all on me, and what I thought of myself. I hated myself so much, and that was everyone else’s fault. 

Have you ever heard that saying “What other people think of you is none of your business”? Yeah? It’s true! And it works both ways. What you think of other people is all about you, not them. 

This post isn’t to tell you how to change how you think about others. That’s on you. It’s about doing some thinking about how YOU can do that for YOURSELF. And how you might like yourself a bit more for it. I do. Those nasty thoughts about others seem to happen a whole lot less when you think more positively about yourself. Funny huh?

So. If you are guilty of a bit of this, how can you work to fix it? What can you do to think better about yourself, and in turn, about other people?

Let me know below!
​Nikki xx


I am the owner of MisFIT NZ ltd. A love of food and long standing laziness got me to the point of what I thought was no return – overweight, tired, grumpy, sad and never any energy. It took a good long look at the mirror and some serious self talk to get me back on track, and on a long journey back to health and happiness.