Home / Family / The Value of “Me Time”

 

I’m fortunate to have a very supportive hubby, I’ve always been free to go away for weekends with friends, out for a night, off for a walk on my own to clear my head. That’s never been an issue, however until recently, I very rarely actually DID these things. I could have, but I felt home with my little family was where I wanted to be (and where I felt I SHOULD be). But the kids are 10 and almost 8 now. They aren’t little bubbas.

Over the last year or so, I’ve tried to get out more, do more stuff for ME. But I had only gone away for 2 nights, max, and even that was a real stretch. I just missed my babies too much!

A friend and I had talked for YEARS about going somewhere on a plane for a girls trip, but it was always just a pipe dream, it was never REALLY going to happen. But after our family trip to the Gold Coast in May, I decided that I might actually be able to make it happen.

It was a huge deal – a massive push, saving and scrimping as much as I could, hustling my little heart out so that I could go away and really enjoy myself, not live on 2 minute noodles and $1 cheeseburgers the whole time.

Well. I did it! Last week I just returned from 5 nights in Melbourne. It was a HUGE deal, there was a lot of mummy guilt leading up to it, as well as trepidation. Yes, I know hubby can handle it, he will be fine. But what about ME? I’ve never gone away for that long, what if something happens while I’m gone? There was also a lot of worry about him – being a Type 1 Diabetic, who’s lows are generally in the middle of the night – what if something happens and there’s no one to help him?

So many worries, and many nights with hardly any sleep leading up to it. Even some tears myself, if I’m honest.

But the day came. One kid had a few tears, the other, despite being tearful in the week leading up to me going, gave me a big cuddle and headed off to school, no worries at all.

I tell you what. Once they were off to school, I was ready to go and my ride was on the way, all worries were GONE. The good bye had been a real concern, but they were fine, and now it was time to be excited.

The whole time away was amazing, we did so much, ate so much and even had the odd cocktail. Mums gone wild!! When we got to the end of our time away, I was surprised to realise that although I missed my family, I knew they were happy and completely fine. I think 5 days was just the right amount of time. I could probably have gone to 7 nights, but I was ready to go home.

The strangest thing while we were away, was being responsible for no one but myself. I’ve not had that in over 10 years, and it was VERY odd. There was no whining, no “muuuummmm”, no waiting for kids to have a sit because we had walked so far, no tantrums because they were bored. It was weird. And pretty awesome!

That’s not to say I didn’t miss them, I missed them like crazy, and talked to them daily, but having no responsibilities was very odd.

But it definitely made me think. We put our everything into making sure that everyone is cared for, they are happy, everything. But it’s so easy to lose ourselves. We see stuff about this all the time, and often I’ve thought, yeah, yeah, those poor ladies, losing their sense of who they are, that’s not me.

But maybe we just don’t see it in ourselves. I don’t know that over the last 10 years I LOST myself, but in a way, I think I lost my SENSE of self, if that makes sense?

So maybe it’s time to put ourselves first for a change? It’s not being selfish, but self CARE is so important, I’ve talked about that for a long time now, but after this time away, I’ve realised just how important it really is. So it’s going to be more of a focus in 2020 – not to neglect my family, of course not, but to put more effort into caring for ME.

What do you think?

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